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Losing the argument

I need help. I’ve been losing more than my share of arguments. I’m being bested at work, with combative friends and in the neighborhood fence wars. Looking back over my 75 years, I’ve prided myself on being persuasive. Others may need to use deceptive strategies to seek victory. Not me. I’m always right.

It dawns on me that I need to employ new approaches. Why not learn from the woman who wins every argument in my home? That’s Sherry. I know she cheats. 

For one thing, during the heat of battle, Sherry always stays as calm as if she is listening to classical music and taking a bubble bath. This in itself gets me flustered and makes my ears twitch (a beet red face and twitchy ears do not work in my favor). 

Sherry also appears to pay attention to what I have to say. How fair is that in a heated argument? She never interrupts me, which is a rude but effective scheme. It forces me to actually finish a point which has not yet solidified in my own mind. I stammer a bit to gain precious seconds to compose myself. Never once does she jump in to save me. She just stands there. It’s aggravating, to put it mildly. 

The thing that bothers me most is Sherry uses logic to express her point of view. Arguments should stay emotional. Right? Yet, she lobs fact after fact to support her position. Can you imagine how analytics throw me off my game?

The bottom line is, as I age, I’ve learned to copy winners. Tomorrow, when my knucklehead neighbor, Jed, argues again that my fence is on his property, I will stay calm and say, “Jed, tell me more. You have my full attention.”

Author: Don Kuhl

Don Kuhl is founder of The Change Companies® and Train for Change Inc.® He has authored hundreds of Journals that have assisted over 10 million people in making positive life changes. While Don was aging (think of a side of beef at a fine restaurant), he managed motel properties, started several sports publications, worked in college and health care administrations and started about a dozen corporations. Some of them failed miserably, a few flourished.